Chapter Thirty-Seven: Is It Worth It?

It is a classic, amusing turn of events: I just got a call from the computer repair shop saying they probably need to replace my motherboard. They droned on and on about it—I don’t really understand the technicalities, but it sounds like it will cost 3,700 yuan. Well, after it’s fixed, I doubt this book will be worth even half that amount by the time it’s finished!

We Chinese people are never afraid of a lively scene; what we fear most is that the scene isn't lively enough.

Sure enough, the Tieba forums were in an uproar. At first, it was just a discussion about which team Mo Mo might choose, but it quickly devolved into a debate over whether he was even "good enough."

The reason for this is quite simple: a user named "Big Paris" claimed that Mo Mo would likely be sold to Paris Saint-Germain because their offer was high, and he wouldn't be going to anything like Manchester United.

That immediately triggered a user called "Red Devil Rising" from Manchester United, who retorted that Mo Mo wasn't even worthy of Manchester United in the first place!

The chaos ensued, with others joining the fray—someone who was presumably a fan of the "Black Cats," Sunderland, chimed in with their own opinions on who was worthy of what. The entire forum suddenly became a battlefield with three factions: fans of big clubs, casual fans, and Mo Mo’s personal fans.

Mo Mo was caught in the crossfire, an innocent bystander, though you can’t really blame them. Even though Mo Mo had been performing well lately—especially in his last game—if there were any time-travelers present, they might have been tempted to call him "Little Messi." (I’m not making this up; someone in the book’s fan group actually asked if I was writing him as too powerful.)

However, if you consider the state of Kaiserslautern at the time, Mo Mo’s performance wasn't actually that surprising.

In fact, there was a post on the forum titled: "Is Mo Mo Becoming a God!? A Discussion on Kaiserslautern."

Every legendary player has their signature match: "The Madman" Balotelli, "The Biter" Suarez, "The Little Flea" Messi... Of course, those "gods" hadn't emerged or ascended to their pedestals yet, but Mo Mo’s two dribbling runs against Kaiserslautern had already been enough for people to crown him.

Everyone was hyping him up, even compiling highlights of all his previous goals. If you only watch a highlight reel, every player looks like a king of the pitch. But their over-the-top praise for Mo Mo’s solo run against Kaiserslautern really irritated some of the seasoned, veteran fans.

This particular post was a so-called professional analysis by one such veteran, and his very first sentence dripped with elitism.

Here is the text:

I am surprised that football is so superficial in your eyes. If this counts as being a "king of the pitch," then how many such kings must there be in the world!?

I remember when I used to play, I could dribble from the backfield all the way to the penalty area and take a shot—sometimes I’d even score by accident. Does that make me a king of the pitch, too!?

I don't know why everyone is so obsessed with that Kaiserslautern match. Let’s actually analyze the state of Kaiserslautern.

First, the club was in the middle of a coaching change crisis. Morale was low, and from the top down, everyone was desperately trying to contact other clubs. Everyone wanted to jump ship; Kaiserslautern was like a sinking ship, and everyone was fleeing.

And their star player, Klose—their so-called "Angel," their "God"—was sluggish due to personal relationship issues. In such a state, how much fighting power could Kaiserslautern possibly have?

Their top management was buried in heavy debt (the Bundesliga’s economy wasn't great at the time), and there were even rumors they intended to sell Klose, only holding off because they feared the fans' reaction. (Later, Klose sold himself to help the club pay off its debts, moving to Werder Bremen to begin his rise.)

Under these circumstances, Kaiserslautern was essentially sleepwalking through the match, and 1860 Munich was doing the same. Only Mo Mo and Klose were putting in any effort.

You keep hyping up Mo Mo’s dribbling, but the local *Munich Evening News* didn't even report on it! What are you all getting so excited about? (The *Munich Evening News* didn't report on it mainly due to internal conflicts, and also because it wasn't exactly news that *had* to be covered.)

Finally, let’s talk about Mo Mo’s dribbling technique. Have you seen Quaresma? Have you seen Cristiano Ronaldo!? Their dazzling skills are lightyears ahead of Mo Mo’s.

Haven't seen them? Then compare him to Ronaldo! Kaiserslautern wasn't even in form, right? And Mo Mo only managed to score one goal!!!

The dribbling you worship as divine didn't even lead to a goal, did it? It ended up getting stopped anyway!

How can you possibly put Mo Mo on a pedestal? A bunch of fake fans.

Well, the debate between "real" and "fake" fans could last for three days and three nights—even in the future, people would still be arguing about it—so let’s skip over that.

By now, the number of followers on Mo Mo’s Tieba page had reached nearly five thousand. It sounds like a lot, but compared to China’s massive population, it was truly insignificant.

"Beckham’s free-kicks are better, first floor!" (I won’t even comment on that.)

"I rate Klose. Klose should have gone to a big club anyway, but what is the point of you posting this!?"

"The original poster, a veteran fan, actually makes some sense. Mo Mo is at best at the level of Hao Haidong. He might be good enough to be a substitute at Real Madrid!? But to call him a 'god' is really going too far."

"Galacticos? Ha! Look at the transfer fees. With Mo Mo’s price tag, he’s going to Real Madrid!?"

"Universe-defying Barca: Ha! Look at the transfer fees. Real Madrid only ever buys the expensive ones, not the right ones."

"Heart of the Bernabéu: That idiot is spouting nonsense again."

"Red and Blue Jersey: Just wait and see. Ronaldinho and Beckham—I bet you anything you guys will end up buying Beckham."

"Bundesliga Red Devil: Is it really okay to trash my Kaiserslautern like this!? My Kaiserslautern has been in the Bundesliga all this time, at least!"

"Bundesliga Yang Chen: You’ll be sent to the second division next season."

"Bundesliga Red Devil: Definitely not next season."

"Toni Header King: If not next season, then the season after for sure."

"Bundesliga Yang Chen: You’ll definitely be relegated the season after that. You won't be able to keep Klose."

"Handpicked Sports Betting: Mo Mo is improving fast! He has the potential to become a god, but he’s clearly not at that standard yet. At most, he’s just a bit better than Hao Haidong."

"King of Sports Betting: The guy above is spot on. I feel like Mo Mo is about to have a breakout period. To tell you the truth, I bet on Mo Mo to win the Bundesliga Golden Boot this season."

"Miserable Makelele: What’s so great about Real Madrid!? I work myself to the bone and I don’t even get a raise. Do you guys know who I am? That’s right, I’m a fan of the legendary Makelele. It’s miserable."

"Toni Header King: Just you wait. Soon, my great Toni will rise in Serie A. No one will be able to stop him."

"I rate Klose: Don't get cocky, buddy. My Klose’s [censored] has been starving for a while now."

Mo Mo had never known how rowdy the domestic forums could get, but this time it was different. He was sitting in front of his computer, moving his mouse to click on Baidu, and then searching for his own name: Mo Mo.

What followed was a long list of links.