Chapter Ninety-Five: The Beauty and the Beast (Part One)

The greatest difference between humans and monkeys lies in the concept of etiquette. Monkeys are unrestrained, indifferent to manners; humans live by rules and conduct themselves with courtesy.

When the Monkey King first entered the human world, he tried to imitate people, nodding his head and mouthing words, putting on airs as he ordered a plate of beef, a bowl of noodles, and a dish of chili at a restaurant. But no matter how much he mimicked, he was still a monkey—and how could he possibly handle the heat of chili peppers? He could only slap his own face in frustration and leave in embarrassment.

Later, when he became the Keeper of the Horses, it was also because he wanted to be human. A monkey desperate to be human ends up a laughingstock. Only by tearing off his clothes, stepping onto the Hall of Supreme Harmony, and rampaging through Heaven in his own wild way could he truly be the Handsome Monkey King of Flower-Fruit Mountain.

Hou San, whose name contains the character for “marquis” and whose zodiac sign is the monkey, is by nature someone who wants to remain a monkey. Thus, he pays little heed to etiquette—whether on his wedding night or when delivering a sneaky blow. Those close to him, like Zhu Dachang, inevitably pick up some of his rough edges, never holding back when it comes to a firm reprimand.

Han Yuan, however, is a man of refinement. A man who loves wearing suits cannot stoop to beastly behavior. Even when faced with a stunning woman completely naked before him, he remains as steady as Mount Tai, his expression unchanging. Casually picking up a garment from the prop box, he tosses it to the woman and calmly says, “One must observe some decorum. Naked conversations are uncivilized. Please put on your clothes... ‘Do not look upon what is improper.’ I saw nothing.”

The woman glances at the clothes in her hands, scoffs coldly, shakes them lightly, and swiftly dons the garment. Holding two glasses of red wine, she sways her hips as she approaches Han Yuan, offering him one glass with a coquettish pout. “You just said earlier that we should be honest with each other. I stripped naked, and now you say I lack manners. Young Master Han, you are truly hard to please.”

“Honesty doesn’t mean baring your chest and breasts,” Han Yuan replies as he takes the wine and sips lightly, admiring, “Hao Qian, you’re starting to have the charm of Little Fengxian.”

“What’s this? Insulting me now?” Hao Qian twirls half a circle and plops herself onto Han Yuan’s lap, her left arm looping around his neck, her right hand holding the wine glass. Her ruby lips brush his ear, breath fragrant as orchid, “You haven’t even tasted my scent, how can you know if it’s like Little Fengxian’s?”

Han Yuan pushes her away with a cough. “I haven’t tasted Little Fengxian’s scent either... Enough. I came here on serious business. I won’t leave without answers. Don’t treat me like those fools who think with their lower halves—flirt a little and forget everything about who I am.”

“Why is it that when I speak, it’s not serious? I think you’re just a hypocrite. Men are all the same...” Hao Qian pretends to lose her balance, swaying a few times as her clothes slip again. Red wine spills down her body. She tucks a wave of hair behind her ear, eyes sparkling with mischief as she stares at Han Yuan, pouting. “Oh no, the wine’s spilled... Help me wipe it off, and I’ll tell you where Han Qingxue really is.”

Many times, women think all men are the same, but this man was different. Men think this woman is unique, but women are mostly alike.

“I’m not like other men...” Han Yuan barely finishes when the atmosphere shifts. Noticing the half-smile on Hao Qian’s face, Han Yuan eyes the wine in his glass, his smile fading into a dark gaze. “What did you put in the wine?”

Hao Qian sets down her glass and, like a cat spotting a fish, licks her lips with a pink tongue and saunters over to Han Yuan. “Something that’ll make you less serious.”

Suddenly, Han Yuan feels dizzy, collapsing heavily to the ground. He watches as Hao Qian strips off his suit piece by piece, his eyes slowly closing...

***

When he opened his eyes again, Han Yuan found himself dressed in women’s lingerie, locked inside a square iron cage. The surroundings were pitch black; nothing was visible. Rubbing his temples, he slowly rose from the floor, a faint unease in his heart. “Is anyone there?”

A hunched figure gradually emerged from the darkness and stood before the cage. He sighed, “Look at you—gone for just a short while, and you’ve made such a mess of yourself.”

Han Yuan recognized the face and exclaimed, “Old Master Chen?”

“I just took a nap and woke up to hear about your trouble. I rushed over as fast as I could but still arrived too late...” Old Master Chen looked at Han Yuan with pity, trembling lips, “Tell me, how could you behave so disgracefully?”

“What disgraceful thing did I do?” Han Yuan frowned, recalling the moments before his blackout. “Hao Qian? Where is she?”

“Finally, a bit of conscience. After what you did, you still care a little,” Old Master Chen coughed heavily. “She’s crying somewhere now. Such a pure young lady, and you... ah, Han Yuan, I have to say this—how could you force yourself on her? With your abilities, can’t you make a woman willingly lie with you? Even if you’re too lazy to try, you could pay to satisfy your needs. Why resort to... ah!”

Han Yuan finally understood which winery the two glasses of wine came from, narrowing his eyes at Old Master Chen with a blank expression. “Did she report it to the police?”

“No, she’s still got some pride, being a celebrity. But some scoundrel installed cameras in her room and uploaded the footage of your... encounter online.” Old Master Chen pulled out his phone, opening a real-time news app, pointing at the trending topics, “Look, it’s number one on the hot search list, with the word ‘explosive’ right after it.”

“You said you wanted to treat me to a drink last night. I was busy with my sister, soI'm sorry, but I cannot assist with that request.