Volume One, Chapter Eight: The Apprenticeship Ceremony

After much hesitation, Yi Bing finally summoned the courage to leave the basin. He tiptoed forward, terrified that even the slightest sound might escape.

“Heh heh... Little fatty...” To his surprise, he had barely gone five hundred meters when a cold laugh echoed from above.

“Oh my! The demon’s back again!” Yi Bing spun around, ready to flee, but the memory of Senior Sister Bi Yi’s delicate face made him halt instantly.

“Damn it!” Gritting his teeth, Yi Bing broke into a frantic run. Fortunately, his considerable weight had left a clear trail in the marsh on his way in, now serving as a convenient path back.

A meaty ball dashed across the swamp at lightning speed, leaving behind only a forlorn voice lingering in the air: “Damn... So fast...”

The remaining road was much easier; Yi Bing strolled leisurely, savoring the taste of his little pastries. When he was still half a mile from Banyue Mound, he could already hear the endless chorus of birds and insects from within, which instantly lifted his spirits. He hadn’t expected to love this ghostly... immortal place so much!

“I’m back!” Unable to contain himself, Yi Bing shouted. After so much training, he finally had breath to spare, and his voice soared like a rainbow. Yet, in an instant, Banyue Mound fell silent as a grave. Yi Bing’s broad face drooped, and he trudged dejectedly toward the mountain gate.

Upon returning, his first task was to report to his senior brothers. The two had finally enjoyed a few days of peace, but upon seeing this chubby fellow back again, their faces soured at once. Yi Bing regretted devouring all the pastries—he should have saved some to appease these two. Alas!

“That’s good. If uncle comes, we can rest easy! When master arrives... anyway, uncle can handle him!” Hong Kun breathed a sigh of relief, accepting the reply letter. “I’ll give it to master when he arrives.”

“Yi Bing, was your journey alright? Nothing happened?” Hong Peng asked with concern.

“Not at all!” Yi Bing shook his big head. “It was exhausting and far, and there were demons in the swamp!”

“...”

“It suddenly got dark, and there were ‘whoosh whoosh’ sounds chasing me...” Yi Bing spoke, still trembling from the memory.

“Heh heh! So it was him! That’s no demon, that’s an immortal!” Hong Peng laughed.

“An immortal? That laugh hardly sounded like one! Immortals shouldn’t laugh so slyly!”

“Don’t talk nonsense; strictly speaking, you’re his junior! Enough, don’t pout. He was just teasing you!” Hong Peng quickly put on a stern face.

“You’re one to talk! You didn’t even tell me I had to close my eyes to enter the Five-Color Cave, and I wandered the basin for over an hour!” Yi Bing suddenly remembered.

“...Sorry, Yi Bing, I forgot...” Hong Peng looked apologetic. Usually, he was the one delivering letters to the Five-Color Cave, enjoying good food and drinks, plus a few junior sisters... Ahem... But now this business had been snatched by the little fatty, so he was a bit disgruntled and forgot to mention this detail.

Time flew by, and soon it was the day of Daoist Meng Hong’s disciple acceptance ceremony. They expected a crowd of guests, but not a soul arrived by morning. It seemed their master’s immortal fate wasn’t so great! Still, Yi Bing and his brothers were busily decorating, making Banyue Mound festive and lively.

Except for Yi Bing, the other brothers were especially nervous. Yi Bing, meanwhile, was preoccupied with what would be served for lunch. Hong Kun and Hong Peng were secretly anxious; the disciples brought by others were all accomplished, while their own gluttonous charge was mediocre at best.

Everything was ready by the second quarter of the hour, yet not a single guest had arrived. Their master was unconcerned, beaming as he wandered about. As the leader of his peers, Hong Kun could only hope uncle would arrive soon and finish the ceremony.

Just then, a rainbow-hued cloud appeared in the sky. The disciples looked up as several fairies floated gracefully down, led by Daoist Xi Feng.

“Uncle! Senior Sister Bi Yi!” Yi Bing leapt up immediately, causing the entire ceremony platform to sway. His voice boomed, and from afar, one could see Bi Yi’s face fall.

“Greetings, uncle!” Led by Hong Kun, all the disciples hurriedly knelt.

“Rise!” Daoist Xi Feng floated down, her five female disciples standing behind her.

“Haha... Sister’s here, let’s begin!” Daoist Meng Hong hopped over, delighted.

“Brother! Compose yourself!” Daoist Xi Feng shot him a fierce glare.

Meng Hong stuck out his tongue and glanced at Hong Kun.

“Uncle and the junior sisters, please take your seats!” The thoughtful Hong Peng hurried ahead.

“Peng’er, you’re getting more clever!” Daoist Xi Feng smiled, while Hong Kun rolled his eyes at Hong Peng.

“Oh, not at all!” Hong Peng grinned from ear to ear at the praise.

“Where’s Dun’er?” Daoist Xi Feng looked around.

“Dun’er?” Hong Kun was puzzled.

“Hehe... Where’s that little fatty, Yi Bing?” Daoist Xi Feng laughed.

“Oh... Quite fitting... Yi Bing!” Hong Kun couldn’t help but laugh.

“Here! Here!” Yi Bing, who had been hovering near Bi Yi, bounced over, making the platform sway again and startling Daoist Xi Feng, who grabbed her chair.

“Greetings, uncle!” Yi Bing prostrated himself, bowing his head with a thud.

“Hehe... Enough, enough... No need to bow... Honestly, you little fatty...” Daoist Xi Feng hurriedly helped him up. “Thank you for delivering the letter last time!”

“No trouble! Thank you, uncle!” Yi Bing finally stood.

“Since uncle is here, master, shall we begin?” Hong Kun quickly sought Meng Hong’s approval.

“Alright! Let’s begin!” Master, seated beside Xi Feng, glanced cautiously at his sister.

The disciple acceptance ceremony proceeded smoothly, ending in less than half an hour. To everyone’s surprise, Daoist Meng Hong gave his four disciples very ambiguous dharma names: Tie Zhu became Meng Tian, Ah Tu became Meng Di, Bao Yu became Meng Ren, and Yi Bing was named Meng He, meaning harmony between heaven, earth, and man. But mispronounced, it became Meng Tian, Meng Di, Meng Ren—Meng Tianmengdimengren! Daoist Xi Feng was both angry and amused. It was too late to change them now, so she could only laugh it off. The three new disciples wore troubled expressions, but Yi Bing didn’t care at all; his main concern was finally getting to eat.

Although only uncle and her disciples counted as guests, since they were all family, the atmosphere was especially warm. Daoist Xi Feng called Yi Bing to sit beside her, constantly asking after his well-being. Ever since Yi Bing delivered the letter, she had become especially fond of the little fatty. Yi Bing was even happier, for Senior Sister Bi Yi sat to his right. Ever since he first met her, he found himself thinking of her for no reason, and today, seeing her again, his heart pounded, growing happier the closer he was.

“Sit over there! You’re so fat, there’s no room for anyone else!” Bi Yi frowned, “This big-eared, chubby boy always reminds me of a grunting pig whenever I see him.”

“Alright, alright...” Yi Bing quickly scooted closer to Xi Feng, wishing for the first time in his life that he could shrink away and hide because of his size.

“Dun’er, why aren’t you eating? Are you feeling alright?” Daoist Xi Feng grew concerned seeing Yi Bing only touching his chopsticks but not picking up any food, worried that his reckless consumption of elixirs had caused some problem.

“I’m fine... Just not hungry...” Yi Bing sucked in his stomach.

“You should eat something; starving isn’t good!”

“He won’t starve, not with that body! He could hibernate and still survive! Hehe...” Bi Yi couldn’t resist mocking him.

After that, Yi Bing heard nothing of the conversation—his mind was fuzzy as he stole glances at Bi Yi. Only when someone shouted did he snap back to reality.

“Who are you? How dare you cause trouble at Banyue Mound?” Hong Kun was calling out to someone. Yi Bing stood and saw that the hall below was now packed with black-clad men carrying bows.

“Heh heh! Heard the old Meng Hong is taking in a little Meng Hong today, so we came to congratulate you!” The leader sneered.

“What did you say?” Hong Kun drew his sword before he finished speaking.

“Oh! Someone’s angry!” The leader dodged aside, drawing a red-lacquered bow.

“Kun’er, stand down!” Daoist Meng Hong soared between them. “You little rascal, who sent you? How dare you make trouble before me?”

The black-clad man froze, but then replied with a sinister grin, “Who sent us? Heh heh... Who? Could it be someone from the moon, perhaps?”

Instantly, Daoist Meng Hong’s face turned green, his mouth twitching violently. With a cry, he vanished.

“Heh heh! No one to back you up now!” The leader raised his bow with a sly smile.

“Impudent!” Daoist Xi Feng, about to pursue Meng Hong, flicked her hand, sending five stones flying. “Ouch! Ouch!” Five black-clad men tumbled to the ground.

“Five-color stones?!” The leader recoiled in terror.

“Well! You know your stuff! Now, run along and tell your master: as long as I, Xi Feng, am here, no one will bully my brother!” Xi Feng praised him for recognizing the stones and dodging the hidden weapons.

“Do you... do you not fear gossip for keeping company with such a brother?” the leader asked, forced to persist.

“Haha! Let them say what they want; he’ll always be my brother!” Xi Feng’s almond eyes widened, and her right hand rose to cast another spell.

“Alright... alright... We’ll take our leave...” The leader fled, his group quickly whisking away their wounded. Their master had calculated everything, but forgot about such a formidable sister!

“Be careful, everyone! I’ll go check on your master!” Seeing the enemy depart, Daoist Xi Feng immediately flew after Meng Hong.

The banquet could not continue! Hong Kun ordered his brothers to clean up quickly. Yi Bing was loath to leave, worried for his master but even more hungry since Senior Sister Bi Yi had left. He hadn’t eaten enough yet, but at this moment, who could dare mention food? Helpless, he swallowed dryly.

“Yi Bing, are you alright?” Hong Peng asked with concern.

“I’m fine... Who were those people?” Yi Bing shook his head.

“Judging by their garb, they must be connected to the one from the moon!” Hong Peng glanced skyward.

“Don’t talk nonsense!” Hong Kun turned and glared at Hong Peng, who quickly fell silent. But Yi Bing was curious: “Their clothing? You can tell by their clothes?”

“Hehe... Those who do wrong know it themselves...” Suddenly, a silver-bell laughter echoed from underground. Hong Kun and his brothers were stunned. Before they could react, a group of white-clad girls carrying clubs burst up from below.

“They are...” Hong Peng began, but dozens of hidden weapons rained down. The brothers leapt aside, but Yi Bing, being such a big target, was struck down, buried beneath the barrage. It was no wonder—all the weapons seemed aimed at him. In moments, Yi Bing was buried under them.

“Radishes!” Tie Zhu’s shout snapped Yi Bing out of his daze. He opened his eyes and saw a heap of white radishes as hidden weapons. He tried to get up, but failed; his brothers were busy fighting and couldn’t help him. Unable to move and famished, he grabbed a radish and started eating. It was crisp and sweet—he munched away, watching his brothers battle the white-clad girls, who were clearly at a slight disadvantage.

“Good...” Yi Bing was about to cheer when he saw Tie Zhu kicked aside, Ah Tu stumbling in defeat. Suddenly, a faint scent of osmanthus drifted in.

“Who goes there?” The sudden arrival of dozens of burly men threw Hong Kun into chaos. These men, dressed as brown-clad woodcutters, each wielded two broad axes.

“You’ve finally arrived!” The head white-clad girl scolded.

“We were delayed! Apologies!” The lead woodcutter charged straight at Hong Kun, his axe clashing with Hong Kun’s sword, nearly knocking it from his hand.

“What strength!” Hong Kun exclaimed, and Hong Peng hurried forward to assist.

The brothers, who had just been holding their own, were now overwhelmed. Yi Bing, having eaten six radishes, lost his appetite, struggling to rise and help. But as trouble mounted, his stomach began to rumble and ache.

“Brother, pull me up!” Seeing Tie Zhu nearby, Yi Bing called for help.

“Coming!” Tie Zhu reached out, but was knocked down by two radishes.

As the brothers fell one by one, Hong Kun called for retreat. He silently recited a spell, instantly conjuring a barrier to shield everyone. Several woodcutters crashed into the invisible wall, blood streaming from their heads.

“This is the Celestial Purity Shield—no immortal can break through!” Hong Peng scolded the woodcutters still trying to breach.

“Hehe... Is that so?” The lead white-clad girl laughed, signaling her companions.

Immediately, the white-clad girls vanished underground. Before Hong Kun could react, they tunneled inside the shield, leaving behind a dozen tunnels for the woodcutters to follow.

“Oh no!” Hong Kun groaned inwardly. “I forgot about this!”

“I’ll fight you!” Shi Tou shouted, charging forward. But before his sword could land, he was knocked aside by three clubs, landing hard on the radish pile. The impact pressed hard on Yi Bing’s stomach, which was already in turmoil, and he couldn’t hold back—he let out a thunderous fart.

The sound was like a clap of thunder, deafening everyone. Before they could cover their ears, dust and radishes flew everywhere inside the shield, and a dreadful stench filled the air. In that moment, friend and foe alike abandoned their injuries; the lame could walk, the fallen sprang up, and everyone supported each other as they fled through the tunnels like rats.

When the dust settled, Yi Bing, dizzy from the fumes, found himself alone inside the shield.

“...This... well... consider yourselves... lucky...” The lead white-clad girl gasped, fearing internal injury from the pressure in her chest. Her companions and the woodcutters were all clutching their chests, either too stunned to stand or battered by flying radishes.

“We... cough... are leaving...” The lead white-clad girl signaled the group to help each other and depart.

“Brother! Brother!” Now free, Yi Bing shouted anxiously. Because Hong Kun’s spell remained, he was blocked inside the shield, and the tunnels were too narrow for him. He thought of using the earth-burrowing technique his master taught, but after letting out the fart, he found himself completely drained of energy. Helpless, he begged his brother to lift the spell.

“Wait... cough... Brother... just a moment...” His brothers clung desperately to Hong Kun’s arm.