Chapter 94: Silver Soul (Earth Arc)

The factory manager, clutching his head, wailed in despair. After his afro was removed, he began to change gradually—his body softened and finally transformed into a life-sized replica of a giant afro wig.

“Ugh, what is that? It looks absolutely disgusting,” Hijikata recoiled with distaste.

“That wig is perfect! No doubt about it—that used to be Gilgamesh’s wig!” Okakura Take, fully immersed in her role as forewoman, said excitedly as she gazed at the massive coil of hair.

“Whose head is big enough to carry that nasty afro on top?” Shinpachi scoffed.

“I never imagined we’d encounter the arch-nemesis of afros here in this remote corner of Earth—the super natural curls. At first, Sakata-san, you were bald, so I didn’t notice. But now that your hair has grown out, your twisted curl power has emerged. It’s terrifying. Sakata-san, you are the most formidable natural curl I’ve ever seen. Looks like the biggest obstacle to invading Earth is you, Sakata-san!” Hibiya Afro stared at Gintoki, but with that enormous wig speaking, it was impossible to tell where the voice was actually coming from.

“What twisted curl power? I never thought that guy’s curls could have such an effect…” Okakura Take’s eyes widened as she recalled how Gintoki had just reached out and effortlessly plucked the afro off Hibiya’s head—meaning he could do the same to her own wig!

“Gintoki-san!” Okakura Take grabbed the absent-minded Gintoki, who was picking his nose, and pulled him close.

“Hmm? What is it?” Gintoki asked with his usual deadpan gaze.

“Quick, take the wig off my head! Hurry!” Okakura Take said excitedly, looking at Gintoki.

“Oh yeah, that guy can take off the afro,” Hijikata suddenly realized.

Gintoki looked at Okakura Take, reached out, and easily removed her afro wig, tossing it aside.

The moment the wig was removed, Okakura Take felt a wave of relief. Curls don’t suit everyone, after all.

“Natural curls, quickly take mine off too!” Hijikata joined them, pleading with Gintoki to remove his afro.

But Gintoki, lazily picking his nose, replied, “Ah, you don’t need it, Hijikata-kun. That explosive brain of yours suits that afro perfectly.”

“You bastard, who are you calling explosive brain?!” Hijikata was enraged.

“Master, then take mine off too,” Sogo approached.

“You don’t need it either; that afro fits you perfectly as well,” Gintoki said, still lazily picking his nose.

“Master,” Sogo smiled innocently, “I have Rikyus coupons and a rewards card. We can get their limited edition cake.”

“Hey Sogo-kun, how does someone as handsome as you end up looking good in an afro? Here, let me help you take it off.” Gintoki smiled obsequiously and removed Sogo’s afro wig.

Sogo pulled a few coupons and cards from his pocket and handed them to Gintoki, who accepted them happily and tucked them away.

Witnessing this, Hijikata took a deep breath and made a difficult decision. He took out several coupons from his pocket and handed them to Gintoki.

“These are my treasured coupons, all of them. But in exchange, you have to take the afro off my head,” Hijikata said fiercely, glaring.

“What’s this?” Gintoki asked, taking the coupons.

“These are my prized mayonnaise coupons. With these, you can get the latest imported mayo free from the supermarket,” Hijikata said proudly.

“...” Gintoki was speechless.

“Who would want something like this?!” Gintoki shouted, throwing the coupons to the ground angrily.

“My mayonnaise coupons!” Hijikata hurriedly dropped to the floor to retrieve them.

“Gintoki-san…” Okakura Take sighed and patted Gintoki’s shoulder.

“Hm?” Gintoki looked at her, puzzled.

“You better take everyone’s afros off quickly. If you don’t, they’ll team up with the Afro aliens against us,” she said, pointing ahead.

“Hahaha! The afro is king! No one escapes Aruu today!” Kagura stood beside Hibiya Afro’s wig and declared.

“Exactly! The afro is as important as Artoo. No one can dislike afros!” Afro Shinpachi chimed in.

“Sogo, come put on the new afro I just made! Hahaha!” Kondo laughed, holding an afro wig pixelated for modesty, and Okakura Take noticed the flies buzzing around it and the strange curl pattern…

What on earth did that guy use to make his afro?!

“Master, Okakura-buchou is right. Only you can save those afro fools now. And by the way, don’t bother rescuing that mayonnaise fool lying on the ground. His brain’s always been explosive,” Sogo said, approaching them.

Among everyone present, only the three of them had returned to normal.

“Sogo, who are you calling a fool? Damn it, I’m going to make you wear my latest masterpiece—the mayonnaise afro!” Hijikata said, raising the afro wig topped with a huge dollop of mayo.

“...” Okakura Take.

Hijikata’s mind had clearly exploded along with that afro. How could he create something so utterly disgusting?

“Indeed, fools plus afros equals disaster,” Gintoki said lazily with his deadpan eyes. Then, drawing the wooden sword at his waist, his entire aura shifted in an instant.

“It’s time to wake the fools up!” With that, he charged at Afro Shinpachi’s afro-headed curls, swinging his wooden sword. Shinpachi looked terrified as Gintoki lunged at him.

“Ahhh—!” In the next moment, Gintoki fell, his wooden sword striking Shinpachi’s groin. Shinpachi, drenched in sweat, stared at the tiny gap between himself and Lake Toya, feeling relieved that his Armstrong cannon hadn’t exploded along with him.

“What are you doing, you useless natural curl?!” Okakura Take yelled, furious. One moment he was cool, the next he was making a fool of himself. Could his endurance last any longer?

“It’s not my fault this time…” Gintoki raised his bloodied face, looking down at the wig tangled around his feet, covered in mayonnaise.

“...” Gintoki.

Why always mayonnaise?!

“Hmph.” Hijikata suddenly appeared beside Gintoki, raising his long sword and striking down at Gintoki’s head. “This is the price for underestimating mayonnaise!” he shouted.

Bang! But the sword was stopped by a spiked club.

“You…” Hijikata was shocked that Okakura Take had blocked his attack.

“Sorry, but this is actually my real weapon!” Okakura Take said, turning around and lifting the stunned Gintoki, then throwing him directly at Hijikata.

Thud! Black and silver hair collided with a heavy thud. Hijikata was caught off guard and fell backward, his afro flying off.

“Ow! What are you doing, woman?!” Hijikata, now normal again, clutched his bloodied forehead, angry.

“Doing what?” Okakura Take walked over and looked down at him, a mischievous smile curling her lips. But that mischief wasn’t directed at him.

“I’m just using my weapon properly! Go, natural curls!” With that, she grabbed the fallen Gintoki from Hijikata and hurled him fiercely toward the others.

Gintoki flew like a rocket, knocking over countless afros.

“Hmm, this is definitely faster,” Okakura Take said, pleased with the results.

“...” Hijikata.

That woman was terrifying!

Over ten minutes later, the wig factory was strewn with people and wigs. Several figures slowly emerged, the few at the front looking exhausted.

“Are you sure he’s going to be alright?” Shinpachi asked weakly, looking at Hijikata.

Hijikata lit a cigarette with a lighter from his pocket, glanced back, then looked forward again. “Don’t worry, that guy will be fine.”

Yamazaki came over, looking troubled. “But it looked so brutal…”

“Yamazaki, you don’t need to worry. That person isn’t one to be defeated by small troubles,” Kondo said firmly, patting Yamazaki’s shoulder.

“Yeah, this is nothing. That guy isn’t afraid of even great disasters. Don’t worry; this is like an S&M game to him,” Sogo said, blinking casually.

“No, even in S&M games, it’s not played like that. Is he really going to be okay?” Shinpachi pushed up his glasses and looked back.

The others followed Shinpachi’s gaze.

“Yahoo, fantastic! I never thought Gin-chan could be used like this. It’s been worth all the hard work raising him,” Kagura said happily, swinging a silver humanoid figure.

“Okakura-senpai, are you ready? I think I can hit a home run anytime—Aruu!” Kagura waved Gintoki’s baseball bat excitedly.

“Here it comes, Kagura-chan. Hold the bat tight and catch the ball,” Okakura Take said, raising an afro behind her, shaking it like a warm-up before throwing it toward Kagura.

“Home run!” Kagura ran and swung her bat, hitting the flying afro wig. The wig was sent flying, and Kagura’s bat sprayed a burst of nosebleed.

“...” Shinpachi.

“...” Hijikata.

“...” Yamazaki.

“...” Kondo.

“...” Sogo.

Watching the two women cheering and high-fiving each other, all the men remained silent.

Could the natural curl who was being used as a baseball really survive?!

Author’s note: Second update complete.