Chapter 89 Gintama (Earth Chapter)

Upon hearing Okakura Take’s question, Kintoki burst into hearty laughter. “Hahaha, Take, what kind of question is that? My balls... haven’t they always been screws? You should know this better than anyone.”

Liar! Okakura Take stared intently at Kintoki, wondering why he would tell such lies to her and everyone else.

“Kintoki, you’ve been acting strange lately. You’ve changed—a lot of things make me feel that you’re nothing like the person you used to be.”

Kintoki crossed his legs, resting his hands on his knees. “Oh? How have I changed?”

“In many ways,” Okakura Take replied, her eyes fixed on him.

“You want me to explain, don’t you, Take?” Kintoki said.

Okakura Take nodded.

“Then come here, Take. I’ll tell you the reason for my recent changes. I’ll explain it all, slowly.” Kintoki beckoned her over with a wave.

Without hesitation, Okakura Take walked over. Even now, she still believed in Kintoki. She leaned close, bringing her ear near as she looked at him. “Kintoki, what is it you want to tell me?”

Kintoki reached out and pulled Okakura Take into his arms, wrapping his hand around her back and patting her gently. “Take, listen carefully. My troubles…”

“Tell me everything. I want to hear your worries.” Okakura Take rested her head on Kintoki’s shoulder and spoke softly. But strangely, even in Kintoki’s embrace, she could not find happiness.

It’s different… Even the feeling of this embrace is no longer the same as before.

Kintoki brought his lips close to Okakura Take’s ear, exhaled softly, and began to speak. “My trouble is… Take, you really are a stubborn woman!”

With a sharp hiss, the moment Kintoki finished speaking, Okakura Take felt something sharp pierce her abdomen. The agony in her stomach and the pain of betrayal by someone she trusted made her groan involuntarily.

Along with the pain came numbness and a chilling coldness spreading through her limbs.

She looked down and saw a dagger in Kintoki’s hand, the silver blade buried in her abdomen. Drops of purple viscous liquid slid slowly along the pattern on the blade.

“You bastard… you even used a paralytic… Kintoki, what are you trying to do…” Okakura Take’s vision was swimming with golden stars, but she forced herself to glare at Kintoki, burning with anger.

That wretched blond bastard, to think he’d do this to her. If she still had strength, she’d ram her spiked club straight up his—

“What am I doing? Just making sure you don’t get in the way of my plans. Miss Okakura, you should get some sleep. When you wake up, everything will be over. This ugly world of Gintama will be gone, and that useless man, Gintoki Sakata, will have vanished completely. Hahaha…” Kintoki laughed, his deep purple eyes fixed on Okakura Take. “And as for you, Miss Okakura… you’ll forget everything about Gintoki Sakata.”

With that, he punched Okakura Take hard in the abdomen.

Blood spurted from her mouth, her vision grew dim, and she glared at Kintoki with all her remaining will before her eyes fell shut.

Kintoki caught her collapsing body, delivered her to the hospital, then called everyone around him. “Everyone, it's terrible! Take has also been attacked by Gintoki Sakata. She’s in the hospital fighting for her life. Gintoki Sakata—that man must never be forgiven.”

After hanging up, Kintoki’s smile became even more satisfied. He couldn’t help but cover his face, but the joy still shone through his fingers. His deep purple eyes gleamed with triumphant delight.

Once again, Sakata Kintoki had placed another shackle upon Sakata Gintoki.

Gin-san… Gin-san… Gin-san…

I’m sorry…

Okakura Take remembered. She remembered who she truly loved—the man with the silver, unruly hair, the dead-fish red eyes, a sweet tooth, addicted to pachinko, always broke and hopeless—Gintoki Sakata. He was the one she truly liked.

She remembered the look in that hopeless curly-haired man’s eyes that day: reassurance, contentment, and… loneliness.

Why did he show that expression again? Why did she forget him? Why did she do and say those things to him?

I’m sorry, I’m sorry, Gin-san.

Okakura Take wanted desperately to wake up and apologize to Gintoki, but no matter how hard she struggled in the darkness, she couldn’t break free from its sticky grip.

“And wait for me to come back.” That natural perm had once stroked her head and said those very words. But she was never the type to wait quietly behind.

Rather than wait at home, she’d rather go to where he was and bring him back herself.

She didn’t want to wait… She wanted to go back with him… Gin-san.

“Gin… Gin-san…” When a crack split the darkness, light spilled into Okakura Take’s world, and she woke up.

Her abdomen was tightly bandaged; she lay in a hospital gown in a single room. Glancing at the clock on the wall, she realized that despite her injuries and the drugs, she had only slept through one night.

She struggled out of bed and felt her stomach. The bandages were well wrapped. The wound still ached, but it was bearable.

Beside the bed were her clothes and her weapon—the compact spiked club.

Okakura Take got out of bed, grabbed her weapon, and, wearing slippers, quietly slipped out of her room.

No one paid much attention to her, as many patients were out walking, and she didn’t stand out.

Until she ran into a young nurse.

“Ah! Aren’t you the patient from room seven? Get back to bed! You just had surgery last night—you can’t be up and about!” the nurse cried out in alarm.

At her shout, everyone nearby turned to look. Seeing this, Okakura Take immediately bolted.

“Wait! Don’t run, miss!” The nurse hurried after her.

But even injured, Okakura Take’s stamina far surpassed the nurse’s. After a few turns, she’d shaken the nurse off. Then more nurses and doctors joined the chase, but Okakura Take lost them all.

She looked back at the exhausted medical staff gasping for breath and silently apologized in her heart. Once she’d rescued that curly-haired idiot, she’d bring him back to the hospital with her.

After escaping the hospital, Okakura Take realized she didn’t have a cent on her—no money for the subway or a cab. But the Great Edo Hospital was close to Kabukicho, so she decided to run.

Wearing hospital slippers, she sprinted, drawing curious stares.

“Is she really a patient?”

“She runs so fast—maybe she escaped from a mental hospital…”

The crowd gossiped as she dashed past like the wind.

Ignoring them, Okakura Take reached Kabukicho in a matter of minutes. The place was as empty and tense as during the Four Deities’ battle.

But this time, everyone in Kabukicho was after Gintoki Sakata alone.

She quickened her pace. She knew the people, like her once, had all been brainwashed by Kintoki. And that idiot Gintoki would never fight back, not even if someone cut off his head, not even if it was Shinpachi, Kagura, or herself—he’d never complain.

That’s the kind of guy Gintoki Sakata was—always shouldering everything alone.

So, she would kill the one trying to erase Gintoki’s existence. If she killed Sakata Kintoki, it would all end.

At last, she saw Gintoki on a rooftop ahead, facing Sarutobi, Kyubei, and Tsukuyo—he was being hunted by all three.

Okakura Take sighed. Being chased by three such powerful women at once—most people would consider themselves unlucky just to have one after them.

She leapt onto the rooftop, losing a slipper in midair, but she didn’t bother to retrieve it. Barefoot, she sprinted toward the hopeless curly-haired man.

Even Gintoki found it a headache to be hunted by three monstrous women. He jumped down into an alley, but Tsukuyo and the Hyakka soon discovered him.

As kunai rained down, Tsukuyo nearly got hit. Gintoki instinctively shielded her.

Clang, clang! To his surprise, the kunai didn’t hit him—a slender figure in a hospital gown wielded a massive spiked club, landing with a crash in front of him and sweeping the kunai aside.

“Gin-san, are you alright?” Okakura Take turned with a smile, having made such a cool entrance. She hoped to see him moved to tears—

“…!” Okakura Take looked back, only to see a stubborn kunai sticking out of Gintoki’s forehead…

What was up with this guy’s head, anyway?

“How did you get stabbed in the head again? Do you have a bullseye painted in your brain? Why does this keep happening?” Okakura Take grumbled. She’d wanted to be cool, but missed one kunai, which had embedded itself in Gintoki’s forehead.

“Is that Gin-san’s fault? You’re the one who missed. If you mess up, you need to admit it, Chief,” Gintoki replied, wiping blood from his face and fixing her with his dead-fish stare.

“You’re the last person who can say that to me, you idiot!” Okakura Take shouted.

“Why…” Tsukuyo got to her feet behind Gintoki and approached Okakura Take.

“Okakura, weren’t you attacked by this man? Why are you protecting him?” Tsukuyo asked.

Okakura Take grabbed Gintoki by his curly hair and yanked him to her side. “The one who tried to kill me wasn’t Gintoki Sakata—it was Kintoki Sakata. You’ve all been fooled by that man. And for the record, Gintoki Sakata is my man!”

Tsukuyo looked stunned by her words.

Just then, another wave of attackers rushed at them, and Okakura Take quickly dragged Gintoki with her as they fled.

“Hey, ow, ow, ow! If you keep pulling, Gin-san’s going to end up with a receding hairline!” Gintoki protested.

“Shut up!” Okakura Take yelled, blocking the ambush at the alley’s entrance and flooring the attacker with a punch.

But more and more people kept coming at them—all after Gintoki.

“Miss Okakura, move aside! Our enemy is that silver-haired perm, not you!” shouted members of the Hyakka and the Yagyuu family.

“No way! I won’t leave this hopeless idiot’s side, and I won’t let you erase his existence from this city—because he’s mine!” Okakura Take slammed her spiked club into the ground, leaving a giant crater.

“Don’t get in my way! Anyone who stands against him will answer to me!” she declared loudly.

“Never mind, let’s just take out that silver-haired guy first!” The Hyakka and Yagyuu surrounded them again.

Just as Okakura Take was about to send them flying, Gintoki suddenly grabbed her by the waist and tucked her under his arm, making a run for it.

“What are you doing, Gin-san?” Okakura Take demanded, annoyed.

“What else? Running away, idiot. Look at you, still in a hospital gown. Patients should stay in the hospital and eat bland food, not get into brawls. Are you planning to check in for a long-term stay?” Gintoki shouted back at her.

“Don’t jinx me, you moron! If I hadn’t come, you might’ve ended up in the funeral home yourself!” Okakura Take shot back.

“Chief, your curses are too direct—you’re sending me straight to heaven!” Gintoki retorted.

“You hopeless, naturally curly fool, put me down right now! When’s the last time you bathed? Your armpit smells like moldy eggs!” Okakura Take pinched her nose.

“It’s fine—if you smell it long enough, you’ll get used to it. Anyway, Gin-san always smells like milk!” Gintoki squeezed her tighter.

That overwhelming stench made Okakura Take want to bash his head in right then and there.

Soon, Gintoki brought her to the rooftop. Suddenly, Kyubei leapt down from above, her sword slashing at Gintoki from an angle calculated not to hurt Okakura Take.

Gintoki quickly put Okakura Take down and blocked Kyubei’s attack, but in the process accidentally kicked her off the rooftop. Gintoki hurried to grab her hand.

But the contact made Kyubei, who hated touching men, snap. She flung Gintoki onto a billboard across the street, and he slid slowly down to the ground.

“….” Okakura Take noticed blood seeping through her bandages. She stood, somewhat unsteady, and walked to the edge of the rooftop. She saw a crowd gathering around the silver-haired idiot below.

But their eyes had changed—they no longer looked at Gintoki with hatred or the intent to kill.

At the edge of the roof, Okakura Take suddenly felt dizzy. She wanted to jump down and help him, but the pain in her stomach and the dizziness in her head made it impossible to stand.

With a thud, Okakura Take collapsed, gasping for breath as she slowly closed her eyes. Her only remaining thought was—Gin-san will be fine. That hopeless fool’s vitality is as tenacious as a cockroach…

“That guy is so handsome! Other than Kintoki, I’ve never seen such a good-looking boy!”

“Is that a girl or a crossdresser?”

“Wow! That boy seems to have a bulge down there!”

“Oh, really? No way! How come there’s another guy with a sword besides Kintoki?”

Who knew how much time had passed. Okakura Take was awakened by the chattering of girls’ voices. When she opened her eyes, she found herself in an ordinary high school, surrounded by a group of girls.

Where was this? Why was she here?

“Oh no, we’re going to be late—on the very first day!” Just then, a silver twin-tailed girl crashed into Okakura Take’s arms.

Still dazed, Okakura Take was knocked to the ground. The girl sat on her stomach, rubbing her head and speaking in a soft voice, “Sorry, Shiko didn’t mean to. Are you okay?”

A pair of delicate, pale hands were extended to Okakura Take, who instinctively reached out. A large, masculine hand gripped Shiko’s small hand.

Shiko pulled Okakura Take to her feet. But Okakura Take was stunned—why had her hand become like this?

Just then, a voice echoed in her mind: [Miss Okakura, hello.]

That voice—Tama!

[Miss Okakura, don’t panic. This is the fantasy world I created for Kintoki—Soul of the Blade. I want him to experience the feeling of losing something precious. It will be over soon.]

Through Tama’s explanation, Okakura Take learned the story of this world: the Land of Love, once overflowing with romance, had, for unknown reasons, seen all men lose their Armstrong Cannons. With all other men transformed into crossdressers, only one true man remained in this pink world—Kintoki Sakata!

“Wait, isn’t Kintoki Sakata the only man? Then what about me?” Okakura Take shouted in her mind.

[…That’s a program error. You were so close to Gintoki and the others when you lost consciousness that your spirit was affected by Kintoki’s shockwave. So I pulled you into this world as well. Then a few glitches happened, so you ended up as the only man besides Kintoki in this world—Okakura Juugo. And, you’re set up as Kintoki’s rival for the heroine—his love rival.]

“Hold on! Who’s the heroine?” Okakura Take asked, twitching.

[The heroine is Shiko, the girl who just ran into you. She’s Kintoki Sakata’s childhood friend, and her spiritual form is Gintoki.]

What! Gintoki’s become the heroine? Kintoki is still the male lead? And she’s the second male lead!

Okakura Take stared blankly at the smiling, silver-twin-tailed, petite, adorable Shiko… That cute girl was actually that hopeless Gintoki Sakata!

“….” Okakura Take sighed.

“Well, there’s no helping it.” She gave a weary sigh.

Since she was now the second male lead, she (wait, he?)—Okakura Juugo—would have to protect Shiko’s virtue and fight Kintoki Sakata for the girl!

Whether it was the hopeless curly-haired fool or the adorable Shiko, they were both hers!

Author’s Note: Thank you to Shaxi (whoa) and Tarim Kaka for throwing me landmines. The crazy one has been struck by you both~.

Tarim Kaka threw a landmine at 2014-06-27 22:45:15
Shaxi threw a landmine at 2014-06-27 23:04:00