Chapter 74: Silver Soul (Earth Arc)

After her bath, Taketake Okakura stepped out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel, steam swirling around her. The moment she emerged, she saw the white cat staring at her intently, its red eyes blinking.

“So cute, kitty,” Taketake Okakura couldn’t help but scoop the cat into her arms and cuddle it.

Pfft! Gintoki felt the nosebleed he’d worked so hard to suppress threatening to burst out again, especially as he pressed against that warm, soft chest. He couldn’t resist rubbing his face in…

Being a cat was wonderful. He could bury himself in her chest without a care!

“All right, kitty, I’m off to bed. Good night.” Taketake Okakura patted Gintoki’s feline head and walked into her room.

Gintoki lay alone on the sofa, his dead-fish eyes staring blankly at Okakura’s room.

Crunch, crunch…

Suddenly, a faint sound came from the living room window. Gintoki’s cat eyes flashed sharply—was it a thief?

He jumped onto the windowsill, pulled back a bit of the curtain, and crept closer…

“Yo, Gintoki,” Katsura Cat’s head appeared outside the window.

Swish! Gintoki quickly drew the curtain closed.

“Ah, Gintoki, don’t do that! Let me in! I’ve been looking for you for ages. How could you abandon your comrades and come here to be a pet? Have you forgotten your samurai pride?” Katsura Cat pressed his paws against the glass.

“Uuuh, uuuh, uuuh,” Kondou Ape had arrived as well.

These two were unbearably noisy! Gintoki yanked the curtain open. Katsura Cat and Kondou Ape stood on the balcony, and when he appeared, the black cat and the ape gathered around him, delighted.

“Gintoki, you’re finally out! Come, return with us. Even as cats, we mustn’t let ourselves be tamed by humans—samurai don’t surrender so easily!” Katsura Cat patted Gintoki’s feline shoulder.

“Shut up! Your samurai pride disappeared the moment you started pooping wherever you pleased,” Gintoki roared.

“I finally have a life where I don’t have to beg for food, I’m not going back. You two should leave,” Gintoki said, preparing to turn away.

“Gintoki…” Katsura Cat grabbed Gintoki’s tail, a sly smile flashing at the corner of his mouth.

“Aren’t you afraid I’ll tell Okakura about you eating and drinking here since you became a cat?”

Gintoki froze. He imagined Okakura discovering the truth, and shuddered…

She’d definitely kill him!

Gintoki gave a nervous laugh and turned back, “Look, Katsura, we can talk this out…”

“It’s not Katsura, it’s Katsura! Gintoki, as humans you may not have wanted to carry the burden of the Restoration with me, but now that we’re all cats, we must stand together!” Katsura Cat pointed to the window.

“All right, Gintoki, go fetch the food inside for me first!”

“…,” Gintoki replied.

“What are you even here for, you fool?!” Gintoki shouted, swatting Katsura Cat’s face.

“You seem to be living well these days. Do you know how hard it was for us to find you, Gintoki? We thought you’d been caught and neutered!” Katsura said.

“Don’t worry, even if your head gets cut off, my balls will be fine,” Gintoki retorted.

Eventually, Gintoki went inside and dragged out the bag of cat food Okakura had bought for him.

“Oh, this brand is excellent, Gintoki. Okakura treats you well,” Katsura Cat said, stroking his chin with a paw.

“Katsura, you’re really so chatty. If you’re leaving, hurry up,” Gintoki replied.

“Ah, right, Mr. Fang Yi is waiting for us. Let’s go, Kondou, you carry the cat food,” Katsura Cat said to Kondou Ape.

Kondou Ape happily picked up the cat food, Katsura Cat hopped onto his shoulder, and he looked at Gintoki, “Come on, Gintoki.”

Gintoki glanced back toward Okakura’s room, but in the end, he jumped onto Kondou Ape’s shoulder and Kondou carried the two cats down.

At street level, Gintoki saw Fang Yi waiting under a streetlamp.

“Let’s go,” Fang Yi said, turning as soon as they descended.

Gintoki followed lazily, while Katsura Cat and Kondou Ape wrestled over the cat food.

“This is mine, you’re an ape, you don’t need cat food!” Katsura Cat clung to it.

“Uuuuhhh!” Kondou Ape protested.

“No! Aren’t we companions? We should all get a share!” the ape roared.

Gintoki ignored their squabble. Since turning into animals, those two had become less picky—they ate anything edible.

“Gin…” Suddenly, Fang Yi called out.

“Hm?” Gintoki just turned his head when Fang Yi’s paw lunged at him. Gintoki dodged hurriedly.

“What are you doing?!” Gintoki glared at Fang Yi.

“Hmph, I thought you’d gotten weak after a few days as a housecat,” Fang Yi replied.

“Don’t worry, my strength doesn’t fade so easily,” Gintoki said.

“Gin, don’t let yourself be tamed. Humans are fickle—one moment they say they like you, the next they abandon you for some reason. I’ve seen too many discarded pets,” Fang Yi said.

Gintoki fell silent. There were indeed many like that. But Okakura wouldn’t do that, he remembered her words—“This is your home now, I am your family.” If she’s family, she won’t abandon him…

“Gin, actually, I came to find you for other reasons. We’ll talk when we return,” Fang Yi sighed.

Gintoki saw his expression and decided to follow Fang Yi back for now, planning to slip away once things were settled.

And so, Gintoki the cat left with Fang Yi and the others.

The next morning, Okakura got up early to feed Gintoki his breakfast, only to find him gone. She searched every corner of her home, but saw no sign of the white cat.

“…He left.” Okakura’s shoulders slumped in disappointment.

“Stray cats can’t be tamed after all. I shouldn’t adopt pets so lightly,” she murmured, gazing at the empty house.

After tidying up, Okakura went out to work. Christmas was approaching, and the Galactic Police League had arranged for all members to travel. There was much for her to resolve before that.

In the days that followed, she came home less often, staying at the office to handle paperwork. When Christmas arrived, she traveled with all the members to another planet.

———Time Skip———

Time passed quickly; two years slipped by as if only two weeks.

“Chief! Your old friends from Odd Jobs have come to visit,” Osai Fishhead knocked at the office door.

There was no response inside. The Odd Jobs trio whispered behind Osai.

“Gin-san, I heard Miss Okakura is pretty scary now. Are we really going to fan her wart out with a folding fan?” Shinpachi whispered to Gintoki.

Gintoki picked his nose and wiped it on the wall, eyes dull as ever. “Who knows…”

“Gin-chan, I feel like I’m about to face the final boss,” Kagura said, eager.

“Kagura-chan, why are you so excited? Though Miss Okakura is almost at final boss level now…” Shinpachi replied weakly.

Yes! In truth, it hadn’t been two years, only two weeks. But in those brief weeks, countless people in Edo had contracted the hiatus virus, and their time had jumped ahead two years.

Everyone’s “two years later” was different—some changed little, some changed dramatically.

After Gintoki reverted from cat to human, he went to see Okakura, but she was busy with paperwork, then went off-world for travel. By the time she returned to Earth, she had contracted the virus…

Unaffected, Gintoki resolved the Odd Jobs’ troubles, then started helping Shinpachi and Kagura deal with people’s warts.

Okakura, however, experienced the most drastic change… rivaling the Shinsengumi Empire’s Emperor Sougo S. Okita III…

She had now bombarded the shogunate, was locked in combat with Sougo S. Okita III, and was planning to conquer Earth as the female demon king—Okakura Vul Taketake!

“Gin-san, I never thought Miss Okakura would become a demon king,” Shinpachi commented.

“She always had the potential,” Gintoki replied lazily.

“The three of you may enter, but be careful—Chief’s temper hasn’t been good lately,” Osai said nervously. Shinpachi noticed a wart trailing behind Osai’s head, but decided to deal with the small fry after the big boss.

The office door opened, and the Odd Jobs trio entered. Osai closed the door behind them.

No lights were on, the curtains were drawn, and the oppressive darkness made Shinpachi anxious.

“So you’ve come. It’s been about two years, hasn’t it?” A deep female voice came from the corner.

Snap! A crisp finger snap lit up the room.

“Ah, so bright,” Kagura muttered, shielding her eyes.

Shinpachi took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. Gintoki shielded his face as he looked toward the corner…

“Robot!!!” Shinpachi shouted first.

“Shinpachi, you’re as excitable as ever,” Okakura…robot stood up. Below her head, everything was metal. Two short antennae sat atop her ears, and only her brain remained human.

“How did this happen?! It’s only been two years—no, just two weeks! How did you become a robot, Miss Okakura?” Shinpachi exclaimed.

“A year ago, while fighting Emperor Sougo S. Okita III of the Shinsengumi, I was hit by an Armstrong cannon. After repairs, I turned out like this,” Okakura explained in a mechanical tone.

“What Armstrong cannon?! How did you two become such idiots?!” Shinpachi cried, clutching his head.

Click—the moment he finished, a rocket launcher aimed at him. Okakura’s cold mechanical eyes stared at him, “Insult me again and I’ll kill you.”

…Shinpachi thought, at least she’s better than that fool emperor—she knows when she’s being insulted.

“Gin-san, what do we do? Miss Okakura’s changed so much,” Shinpachi asked Gintoki.

“The solution’s simple. Just knock the wart off her head with a folding fan,” Gintoki replied, pulling a fan from his robes and approaching Okakura.

Okakura stared coldly at Gintoki. As a robot, her emotions were digitized, and she’d reprogrammed herself with a demon king persona—those who block her die! Offenders die!

Okakura Vul Taketake the demon king had crushed countless heroes who tried to challenge her…

“See, it’s easy—just like this…” Gin the curly-haired man raised his fan to strike Okakura’s head…

Snap! Okakura grabbed his hand, the sound of bones cracking echoed, and she twisted his wrist backward.

“Ah! It hurts!” Gin howled, yanking back his dislocated wrist.

“So you’ve chosen to side with Sougo S. Okita III. Gin, I know Kabukicho is your territory—the idiot emperor has coveted it for ages. If you work with him, he’ll betray you,” Okakura said.

“That idiot emperor is gone; the Shinsengumi Empire is no more, Miss Okakura,” Shinpachi replied weakly.

“Oh? Then there’s one less obstacle to conquering Earth. Hahaha!” Okakura laughed.

Shinpachi sighed, looking helplessly at Gintoki. “It’s hopeless, Gin-san: two years later, Miss Okakura is impossible to talk to.”

Kagura sidled up to Okakura and poked the antenna on her ear. “Bamboo-chan, what’s this?”

Okakura quickly covered her ears. “Don’t touch that—it’s my data receiver!”

“Huh?” Kagura was puzzled by the data receiver.

“Well, that’s enough for our two-year reunion. You may leave,” Okakura declared.

“Wait! Miss Okakura—” Shinpachi panicked.

“Osai, see them out,” Okakura ordered.

“Yes, Chief. Please leave, you three,” Osai said, beginning to usher them out.

Finally, the Odd Jobs trio was expelled from the office.

“Gin-san…” Shinpachi looked at Gintoki, dejected. “What do we do? Miss Okakura’s problem is too severe.”

Gintoki flicked a wad from his nose and stared silently at Okakura’s office door.

“Gin-san!” Shinpachi protested.

“Shinpachi, Kagura—you two go handle the others. I’ll take care of her,” Gintoki said, tossing the folding fan to Kagura and Shinpachi, then turning to leave.

“Gin-san…”

“Gin-chan?”

Kagura and Shinpachi exchanged confused glances. That curly-haired guy always played mysterious at critical moments. In the end, they left too, heading off as Gintoki had directed to deal with everyone else’s warts.

Under the sunset, Gintoki rode his little scooter forward, lazily glancing at the sky before sighing.

“A robot…”

Inside the office, Okakura held her head, trembling. Minutes later, she lifted her gaze, a murderous gleam in her eyes.

“That man has corrupted my data! He must die!”

Okakura Vul Taketake demon king program: engaged!

Author’s Note: This chapter jumps to the two-years-later arc, haha. Originally, I meant to make Gin-san the demon king to be conquered, but in the end, the heroine became the demon king first… otz.