Chapter 39: Silver Soul (Earth Chapter)

After Okakura Chiku returned home, she took a shower and changed into her uniform before heading toward the Subdivision of the Auxiliary Police Alliance.

She had barely sat down when someone knocked on the door.

“Come in,” said Okakura Chiku.

A fish-faced alien entered. “Minister Okakura, good day.”

“Oh, Osei, what brings you here?” Okakura Chiku recalled that this person had introduced himself by that name the day before.

“Recently, some upper-level personnel smuggled a batch of high-risk monsters from Earth. Several have escaped and are now roaming Edo, resulting in multiple fatalities. The Shogunate has requested our assistance…”

“Spring Rain’s secret base on Earth was destroyed by unknown individuals not long ago, and the reincarnation villages they manufactured were also wiped out. So, it’s likely that recently, many reincarnation villages will be smuggled to Earth. We need to strengthen our checkpoint inspections.”

“Prince Hata says he’ll be coming to Earth soon to observe Earth’s lifeforms. The prince specifically requested you to accompany him, as he suffered unpleasant treatment during his last visit and hopes you can act as his personal bodyguard.”

“…”

After the fish-headed alien left behind a stack of documents needing attention and departed, Okakura Chiku slumped over her desk.

“So exhausting… Why are there still so many things to deal with after returning to Earth?”

After lying there a while, she pulled herself together and began to examine the files on her desk.

Cosmic monsters, Spring Rain, reincarnation villages, Prince Hata, the Celestial Order—every single one of these was an enormous headache.

After a day in the office, Okakura Chiku dragged her weary self home, resolving that she would buy a car for her commute in the future. Transportation on Earth was far too underdeveloped—if she were on Central Star, she could already be on a shuttle headed home.

Before heading home, she decided to stop by a small bar in Kabukicho for a drink. Yesterday, she’d spent her whole time buying drinks for that silver-haired Sakata, but thanks to his antics she hadn’t drunk much herself.

Halfway there, she spotted a cart selling oden on the roadside and sat down.

“Boss, give me a skewer of radish, a fish ball, and a bottle of sake,” Okakura Chiku said.

The proprietor quickly served her order. Eating the steaming oden with sake was a delight.

“Oyaji, a bottle of shochu, please.”

“Certainly, Mr. Sakata.”

Mr. Sakata? Okakura Chiku turned her head—and indeed, it was the Sakata she knew.

“Gin-san, you already drank yourself silly this morning. Why are you out drinking again tonight?”

“Oh, what a coincidence. But you’re no different, you know. I’ve heard from Shinpachi—an official like you, yet you spend all day drinking like I do.”

“I’m not like you, Gin-san. I drink in moderation. You’re more like Luffy from OP—eating meat and drinking without restraint. At least he has a rubber stomach; your only defining trait is diabetes,” Okakura Chiku replied.

“Mr. Sakata, here’s your shochu.” The proprietor handed Gintoki his drink.

“Chiku, don’t nag like Shinpachi. Otherwise, one day you’ll end up just like him—a pitiful character whose only presence comes from his glasses,” Gintoki said, leaning over with a laugh as he poured her a drink. “Come on, cheers.”

“Fine, cheers.” Okakura Chiku picked up her glass and clinked it with Gintoki’s.

“Gin-san… How did you end up here after that war? Can you talk about it?” Okakura Chiku asked after a moment’s hesitation.

“Me? I just fled the battlefield like a stray dog, wandered the streets, and was eventually picked up by an old hag. And you? You keep so many secrets—never mind how you became like this, but surviving on that battleship… That’s hard to imagine,” Gintoki said, taking a sip.

“Back then, the explosion of that warship lit up the entire sky.”

“Gin-san, do you know about the Oni Relics?” Okakura Chiku toyed with her glass.

“What’s that?”

“It’s a rare alien race on the edge of the universe. They’re born with faces hideous as demons, shunned and despised by all other races. Their tribe has a strange trait: aside from the chieftain, everyone else is weak, completely lacking in combat strength. Eventually, the tribe perished—because the strength of one is useless.”

“A truly tragic people,” Gintoki said.

“You’re right, Gin-san. And I was the last chieftain of that tribe. I’m a half-blood—Oni Relic and Earthling.”

“What kind of adolescent fantasy is that? The author must have read too many manga to come up with such a bizarre setting,” Gintoki retorted.

“Compared to your setup, Gin-san, I think the author’s ideas are pretty tame. Still, it’s thanks to this odd background that I became beautiful. Gin-san, do you still remember Kumamoto?”

“Yes, I remember.”

“That guy changed me with true love.”

“Ha! That’s straight out of a Disney movie—the beauty transforms the beast with true love. Now that you mention it, Okakura, you did look a lot like a villain.”

A certain curly-haired individual immediately found his head pressed into the oden pot.

“So that’s it. Your story isn’t Beauty and the Beast, but rather the White Rose under a sorceress’s curse,” said the silver-haired man, his face dripping with broth as he spoke solemnly.

“Sorry, boss, I’ll pay for all the oden that this useless curlyhead contaminated. If you serve this polluted food to other customers, his uselessness might infect the innocent,” Okakura Chiku said, laying a few bills on the table.

“Hey, do you really have to compare me to a contagious disease? Or is it just me, or has your tongue gotten even sharper than before?” Gintoki protested.

“They say one is colored by those they associate with, right? I’ve been infected by you, Gin-san, so now I have to fight poison with poison.”

“Shouldn’t that be ‘one is made red by vermilion’? Hasn’t my magnificent character influenced you at all?”

“Not in the least. By the way, Gin-san, you always smell faintly of milk and old man. I’ve been meaning to tell you.”

Gintoki immediately sniffed his clothes. He didn’t catch any milk, but there was a definite whiff of alcohol. He quickly shot back, “I do not smell like milk or an old man. What you’re sensing is manly pheromones. As for you—flat-chested Godzilla—there’s no way you’d…”

“Ah, someone’s jumped into the river!” As a passerby screamed, a white figure plunged straight into the water.

“Sorry, just acted on reflex,” Okakura Chiku said with a smile to the oden seller, whose mouth was twitching.

In the end, Okakura Chiku dragged the soaking Gin-san out of the river, hauling him by the collar and dumping him on the bank like a sack.

“All right, that’s enough for tonight. Go home early and lay off the booze, Gin-san,” Okakura Chiku said to the prone Gintoki, who was coughing up river water.

“Cough… cough, you did that on purpose, didn’t you?” Gintoki spat out another mouthful of water—this time, with a small fish in it.

Okakura Chiku walked over and patted his back. Under her mighty blows, Gintoki felt as if he was about to expel all his internal organs.

“That’s… that’s enough. Please stop…”

She finally let him go. Gintoki shook the water from his hair and sat cross-legged on the ground. Okakura Chiku crouched beside him, amused by his bedraggled state.

“Go home, Gin-san, or you’ll catch a cold.”

“You’ve got nerve—who was it that threw me into the river?!”

“Oh, Gin-san, look, everyone’s staring at you.”

“Don’t change the subject!”

“All right.” Okakura Chiku extended a hand. “Gin-san, let’s go home.”

Seeing the smile on Okakura Chiku’s face, Gintoki’s ears turned inexplicably red. He looked away, but placed his hand in hers.

Okakura Chiku smiled as she stood, pulling the cold, large hand up with her and helping Gintoki to his feet.

“Achoo!” Gintoki sneezed.

Okakura took off her own jacket.

“Gin-san, put this on.”

“Shouldn’t it be the other way around?” Gintoki glared with his dead-fish eyes.

“Huh?”

“Isn’t it usually the man who gives the woman his coat?”

“Don’t fuss over little things like that. Man or woman, we’re all just people. Put it on,” Okakura Chiku said, draping her jacket over Gintoki’s shoulders.

The small, silver jacket looked a bit tight on Gintoki’s broad frame. He adjusted it awkwardly. “You’re the one who pushed me into the water. I’m not embarrassed, but fine, since you gave me your jacket, I’ll walk you home.”

“No need. You fell in the river—just go home early so you don’t catch cold,” Okakura Chiku said.

“Ha? Who do you think I am? There’s no way Gin-san would catch cold over something like this. Come on, if anything happens, your combat skills will protect me anyway.”

“Gin-san, do you know what a gigolo is?”

“A magical man who uses his handsome face to make women spend money on him. Look at me—so handsome, surely there’s a woman willing to spend on me, ha ha ha!”

“Gin-san, your decrepitude is showing, and with those lifeless eyes, no woman would like you. Remember Valentine’s Day? No one ever gave you a single chocolate. You have to face reality.”

“….” The wounded Gintoki was silent. All those years of empty Valentine’s Days were a sore spot; not even a token chocolate had come his way!

“We’re here. Thanks for walking me home. Would you like to come up for a cup of tea?”

“Sure.”

“You agreed awfully fast, Gin-san. Normal men would at least feign reluctance.”

“Those who say ‘no’ are the ones with evil in their hearts. I, on the other hand, am openly true to my desires.”

“…Come on in. When you give my uniform back, I’ll find you another jacket.”

Okakura Chiku lived in a high-rise apartment—well-equipped and luxuriously furnished, with a hefty monthly rent.

“As expected of a minister—are you hiring at your department, Minister Okakura? You could consider Gin-san for a spot,” Gintoki joked, sidling up to her.

“Aren’t you already a company president, Gin-san? Why would you covet a civil servant’s dead-end salary like mine?” Okakura Chiku raised an eyebrow.

“Since ancient times, officials and businessmen colluding has been the road to success. I’m just hedging my bets.”

“Sorry, I’m not the kind of official who’d collude with you. We’re here—come in.” Okakura Chiku finished entering her passcode and the door slid open.

“Wow, this really is a high-class place, huh?” Gin-san plopped onto the sofa, bouncing a few times.

Okakura Chiku changed into slippers and went to the kitchen to heat a cup of milk, then handed it to Gintoki. “Drink up, then head home.”

Gintoki downed the hot milk in one gulp. The warmth did wonders, and he glanced around the apartment.

This place is amazing. When will Gin-san ever be able to afford a high-rise like this? TAT.

Okakura Chiku dug out a large tracksuit jacket and handed it to Gintoki. “Take off your wet clothes. Wear this home.”

Gintoki stood up, shrugged off his outer kimono, then his black undergarment, baring his chest. When he started to unfasten his trousers, Okakura Chiku finally lost her patience and kicked him square in the backside.

The silver-haired fool flew into the wall.

“Who told you to strip that much?!” Okakura Chiku roared.

“I just wanted to wring out my pants…”

“Go wring them in the bathroom!” Okakura Chiku snapped, veins bulging on her forehead.

Carrying his clothes, Gintoki slunk off to the bathroom. Okakura Chiku rubbed her temples. Why did this curly-haired idiot always feel so unreliable and clueless?

She fetched a pair of sweatpants and knocked on the bathroom door.

“Who is it?! I’m not dressed yet,” came the exaggerated falsetto from inside.

“Who else could it be but me? Open up, I brought you pants. Don’t worry, they’re big enough for you.”

The door cracked open. Sakata’s hand emerged. Okakura Chiku placed the pants in his palm.

The door closed again. After a moment, Sakata Gintoki emerged in a tracksuit, rapping out some nonsense: “Yo~ yo~ Gintoki yo~, I like yo~ strawberries~…”

“Get out of here already!”

“Say, why do you have men’s tracksuits? Have a boyfriend? Or is it to ward off perverts? I know you single girls buy men’s underwear and socks to hang up at home to make it look like you’re not living alone,” Gintoki teased, tugging at the tracksuit.

“You think too much. The seller sent the wrong size when I shopped online and I was too lazy to return it. Anyway, you’ve had your milk, changed your clothes, and I’ve paid you back for pushing you in the river. You can go now.”

“Women are so heartless. I’m leaving, but if you need, I can lend you my underwear to hang on your window for protection,” Gin-san replied, just as his dirty clothes hit him in the face.

“Who needs that? Clothes from a bum like you would just stink up the place—take them with you.”

Gintoki scooped up his clothes. “In the real world, Gin-san’s clothes are hotly fought over. They might even fetch millions at auction!”

“Then please take your million-dollar clothes and leave.”

“Bye~ I’m off.” Gintoki waved over his shoulder as he left, and Okakura Chiku shut the door behind him.

“Really, what an unlovable little brat,” Gintoki muttered, heading off with his clothes.

In the moonlight, the silver-haired fool strolled home in his tracksuit, seeming to be in high spirits, while Okakura Chiku, on her side, was about to lose her mind.

“That damned natural perm! When did he drink all my milk?! Damn it!”