Chapter 109: Silver Soul (Earth Arc)

"Ladies and gentlemen, we have reached the most thrilling part of the third round. Both Takamagahara and abc.dotch have finished their drinks, and now they must face our three judges in an arm-wrestling contest. Let’s get the judges’ thoughts on this."

"First, Ms. Okakura, do you think your strength is enough to defeat the men on the opposing team?"

"Well..." Okakura Take glanced at the table, where a wooden tissue box sat. She picked it up, shook it at the emcee, and asked, "It doesn't matter if I break this, right?"

"Ah, no, it's fine..."

*Snap! Crack!* Before the emcee could even finish, Okakura Take crushed the wooden box. Within seconds, it was reduced to splinters that scattered onto the floor, only to be swept away by a gust of wind.

"That was just a small demonstration. I don't suppose the gentlemen opposite will take such a minor trick to heart, would they?" Okakura Take smiled, dusting off her hands.

Gintoki and Okita’s faces darkened. If the first one was this savage, how were they supposed to handle the other two?

"Hahaha, Ms. Okakura is quite something! Next, let’s interview our second judge, Ms. Otae. How are you feeling, Ms. Otae?" The microphone was held out to her.

"I’m actually quite worried, because my strength isn't really that great..." As she spoke, Otae brought a gentle palm down onto the wooden judge's table.

*BOOM!* A crack appeared in the center of the table, widening until it split clean in half.

"..." the emcee.
"..." Team Takamagahara.
"..." abc.dotch.

Can these women let a man live?

After Otae finished her demonstration, Saigo instinctively rolled up his sleeves and clenched his fists, intending to smash the stage—he figured it was his turn.

"Wait! Madam Saigo, that’s enough! The demonstration is over, let’s start the match!" The emcee quickly stopped Saigo. If the stage were destroyed, how could the competition continue?

"Is that so? What a pity, I didn't get to demonstrate. Very well, I’ll have some fun with these handsome young men now." Saigo rolled his sleeves back down.

"Alright, the third round continues. Will the remaining five contestants please come forward? We will select them at random to compete against the judges."

Once the emcee finished, the teams from Takamagahara and abc.dotch stepped forward. Takamagahara had Gintoki and Okita remaining, while abc.dotch had their full trio of No. 1, No. 6, and No. 9.

"The five contestants are in position. Let’s select the first one. The big screen is rolling—who will be the first to face the three judges?"

"One, two, three, stop!"

"No. 9! abc.dotch’s No. 9 has been chosen!"

No. 9, a handsome Amanto with short red hair and pointed ears, hesitated for a moment before walking over to the replacement judge's table. His first opponent was Saigo. As their hands locked for the match, No. 9 suddenly spoke.

"It is my honor to compete against such a beautiful woman as Madam Saigo. If you don't mind, would you go on a date with me after the match?" He offered a gentle smile that sent the female audience into a frenzy of screams.

"Oh my, what a sweet-talker you are!" Madam Saigo was instantly charmed.

Result: No. 9 wins.

The match against Otae began...

"Ms. Otae, your outfit is so elegant today. Truly the No. 1 hostess of Kabukicho. I’ve always admired you. With you here, it’s no wonder Kabukicho is always so lively."

Against Otae, No. 9 wins.

Next was No. 9 against Okakura Take. Having watched the previous two matches, Okakura Take told herself she absolutely must not be swayed by this kid’s sweet talk...

"As expected of Ms. Okakura. Just sitting across from you, I can feel your sharp, piercing beauty. I almost want to surrender before the match even begins..."

"..." Okakura Take felt that, actually, those words were quite pleasant to hear...

Against Okakura Take, No. 9 wins.

"Emcee! There’s foul play! I demand a change of judges!" Gintoki roared, pointing at the trio on stage. Those women were clearly throwing the match!

"Protest from Team Takamagahara denied. The judges' word is final. abc.dotch receives 3 points," the emcee declared.

"Alright, the next match begins. abc.dotch has taken a 3-point lead. Team Takamagahara, please do your best! The screen is rolling again."

"One, two, three, stop! The contestant chosen is Mr. Sakata from Takamagahara."

"Right, my turn." Gintoki walked over, brimming with confidence. After watching the previous match, he’d learned a trick: those women loved flattery, and he was the best at playing the smooth-talker.

Gintoki faced Saigo. As the first match began, he looked at her, pondering what to say to make her happy...

"Your makeup looks great today..."

"Who’s wearing makeup?! This is natural beauty!"

*BANG!* Saigo slammed Gintoki’s face directly into the table.

First match, Saigo wins.

Second match, Gintoki against Otae. With one side of his face swollen, he studied her, trying to figure out what to say to please this female gorilla...

"Otae..."

*BANG!* Before Gintoki could finish, Otae flipped him over, his head smashing a gaping hole into the tabletop.

"W-why! I haven't even said anything yet!" Gintoki roared, pulling his head out of the hole.

Otae didn't explain; she just watched him with a smile, though the dark aura behind her grew thicker by the second.

"..." Gintoki silently stood up and walked away.

Second match, Otae wins.

Third match: a bruised, bloodied Gintoki sat before Okakura Take. He offered a fawning smile and leaned in to whisper, "Take-san, please, let me win this one. I'll treat you to dinner after we win."

"Hmm? And what are you going to treat me to, Gin-san?" Okakura Take asked curiously.

"Chocolate parfaits, strawberry cake, dango, Uji-Gintoki rice bowls, and so on..."

"..." Okakura Take thought, *Aren't those all things you like to eat! Saying you'd treat me was just an afterthought, wasn't it!*

*BANG!* This time, Gintoki was slammed right off the stage. Third match, Okakura Take wins.

"Boss, you're really pathetic, losing all three matches," Okita said, squinting at Gintoki as he limped back.

"Shut up! Those three up there are monsters! You'd end up the same way if you went up there," Gintoki snapped, embarrassed and angry.

Next, it was Okita’s turn. Gintoki watched, expecting to see Okita suffer, but to his surprise, Okita actually won!

After Okita stepped down, Gintoki rushed over to ask, "What happened? How did you manage to beat those three monsters?"

"Boss, I’m not like you. Didn't I say that victory always requires a few small sacrifices?" Okita said, pulling a handful of dessert and beauty salon vouchers from his pocket.

"..." Gintoki and the emcee thought, *There’s definitely some back-room dealing going on here!*

Despite Okita’s attempt to turn the tide with his vouchers, abc.dotch ultimately won. Saigo was fond of the remaining two handsome men, Otae was charmed by them, and even Okakura Take couldn't help but be swayed by their smooth talk.

The third round ended with a score of 9:3, abc.dotch wins!

"Alright, the current score is 2:1, abc.dotch leads. We are moving on to the fourth round. Team Takamagahara, you must work harder! If you lose the fourth round, you’ll have no chance left!"

"The fourth round is about to begin. As we’ve said before, the most important trait for a host is the ability to delight women—only when they are happy will they spend money. Therefore, this round is—Eloquence!"

"We ask both teams to select three representatives to come up and try to cheer up three women."

"The first is Ms. Hanada Nanako, 48. Her husband recently cheated on her, and she is feeling very depressed and in need of comfort from a host." A middle-aged woman in heavy makeup and a floral dress stepped up, frowning and sighing incessantly.

"The second is Ms. Yamazaki Ayako, a 20-year-old office worker. She has been experiencing workplace harassment and feels lost, needing guidance from our hosts." A young woman in an office uniform took the stage.

"The third is a 12-year-old girl named Kurosaki Ichigo. She is upset because her mother ate her favorite strawberry pudding. That pudding was essential for her to transform into a Shinigami Witch, and now that it’s gone, she can't transform! Meanwhile, White Dye from the Soul World has begun making moves on her. Hosts, please console Kurosaki Ichigo!"

"..." Okakura Take.

*What is going on with that last one? Is this a crossover between 'Ribon' and 'Shonen Jump'? And 'Kurosaki Ichigo'? Isn't that Kurosaki I—? And 'White Dye from the Soul World'? That’s A—, right?!*

"Kurosaki Ichigo! It’s actually Kurosaki Ichigo!" Shinpachi suddenly grew excited. He rushed over to the girl with the yellow ponytail, autograph book in hand, and said, "Ichigo-chan, hello! I’ve always been a fan. Could I please have your autograph?"

The girl known as Kurosaki Ichigo slowly looked up. When she saw Shinpachi, her eyes widened.

"Anyone wearing glasses is a White Dye before he shows his true colors! Die, White Dye! I’ll punish you in the name of strawberry pudding!" The girl shouted as she kicked Shinpachi flying.

"..." Okakura Take.
"..." Gintoki.
"..." Kagura.
"..." Okita.
"..." Kondo.
"..." Kyoshiro.
"..." Kyubei.
"..." Otae.
"..." The emcee.

*Is this really not Bleach?*