Chapter 130: Impossible to Ignore

Nian Yuchen always appeared gentle, yet deep down, he was deeply conflicted about matters of the heart. Otherwise, he would never have found himself unable to control his feelings for Mai Xijun. Regarding their relationship, he was constantly torn between taking a step forward or retreating, eventually choosing to escape and turn a blind eye, hoping that what the eyes did not see, the heart would not grieve over. Yet, it was merely self-deception.

He did not love Cheng Manli—a fact he had known for a long time. But he had always believed that affection could be cultivated, that perhaps love could grow over time, and that such a bond might prove more lasting and stable than love at first sight. However, he did not realize that sometimes, some things simply reach an end and cannot be pushed any further.

When Mai Xijun returned home, Nian Yuchen drove her, though she suggested he drop her off near her office. It was better to avoid unnecessary trouble; she was already surrounded by too many rumors and did not want Nian Yuchen to suffer any consequences on her account.

The matter regarding Mo Shaoxing had essentially faded into obscurity, as Mai Xijun knew nothing of his recent life, and the words Han Xinyao had spoken in the past still echoed in her mind, leaving her feeling awkward and distressed.

Yu Wensi’s latest project had ignited an unprecedented sensation, leading the trends and generating widespread acclaim from the media. Perhaps because he was busy, he rarely came to see Mai Xijun or pester her anymore.

However, there was Shen Yanlie. Ever since she had asked him about Mo Shaoxing and requested his help in finding him, the intimacy between them had significantly faded. It wasn’t exactly estrangement, but there was no longer the same depth of communication. Shen Yanlie had asked her to move into his home, and to put his mind at ease, Mai Xijun had agreed, temporarily leaving her job to focus on a peaceful pregnancy.

Logically, living in Shen Yanlie’s home should have increased the time they spent together. Yet, lately, Mai Xijun rarely saw him. He left early and returned late, and sometimes, he did not come home at all.

She wanted to continue walking this path with him, and she understood the gap between their worlds, but she still believed that love could melt everything and draw them closer. Yet, the words of Shen Yiling would occasionally echo in her ears: they were people from two different worlds. And if they were from different worlds, even if their paths crossed, how could it ever last?

The concept of being "well-matched in social status" was something she once dismissed, but now, the phrase felt hauntingly clear. She had firmly believed that true love could change anything, but she had overlooked that deep-seated personality traits are difficult to alter.

It was another sleepless night. Mai Xijun stood by the floor-to-ceiling window, unable to catch a glimpse of that familiar figure. She was waiting for him. This feeling of waiting was like a newlywed bride in ancient times, waiting for her husband to return from the battlefield, hoping for his triumphant return, yet able only to gaze into the distance.

The next morning, Sister Li, the housekeeper, hurried upstairs. She had woken up a bit late, and although it was only a quarter past six, she usually saw Mai Xijun awake early, even if she hadn't come downstairs yet. Sister Li, who lived by a strict routine, usually checked on her to see what she needed.

What struck Sister Li as unusual today was that Mai Xijun was still asleep. She shook her head and walked out, not realizing that tears were streaming from Mai Xijun’s eyes into her hair, making her realize the truth of her own heart.

What did this child really mean to Shen Yanlie? He ignored her and even deliberately avoided her; how could she pretend not to notice? The sight of things reminded her of the person, and every corner of his home that she looked at deepened her longing. She wanted to call him or go to his office, but she remained conflicted, holding her phone only to put it down again. She wanted to hold on tight, yet she feared he would slip through her fingers like sand.

"Xiao Mai, where are you going?" Sister Li asked, emerging from the kitchen. She had intended to discuss the change in breakfast, but Mai Xijun walked straight toward the front door, ignoring her. Sister Li, her hands covered in cream, couldn't follow, so she washed up and rushed to the living room to make a call.

Again and again, the line went unanswered. She was drenched in sweat, clutching her apron, her hands trembling with anxiety. What was she to do? The young master wasn't answering, and Mai Xijun had left without a word. Either way, it was her failure.

Mai Xijun hadn't gone anywhere else; she had returned to her own apartment. She felt she had had enough of his luxurious villa. Even if her own small place was cramped, it was a sanctuary that truly belonged to her, whereas that opulent mansion could not accommodate even a small moment of her temper.

As she opened the door, a familiar scent greeted her. It was a feeling she had long missed—a place, however small, where she could hold onto her dreams and live a simple, happy life.

Shen Yanlie was startled awake by the sound of the door. He rubbed his eyes, blinking at the figure before him, and sat up from the sofa.

"Why are you here?" Shen Yanlie asked calmly, his voice devoid of emotion, as if it were the most trivial of topics.

"I should be asking you, why are you here?" Mai Xijun looked at him in disbelief. She had thought he was out carousing, that he had left her to spend the night with another woman, that he... yet she never expected to find him sleeping on the sofa in her old home, having spent the entire night there.

She hadn't given him her full trust; that was an unchangeable fact. But was he not also avoiding her? He had arranged for her to stay at his home while he came here to live in the place she once called home. In an instant, an invisible line was drawn between them. Two hearts that had been growing closer were now drifting further and further apart.

"I worked overtime last night, and since it was late, I came here," Shen Yanlie said after a brief standoff.

Mai Xijun clenched her fists. She didn't know what she was angry about or where the fire originated, but she masked it well. She put aside her emotions and looked at him with a composed demeanor, devoid of resentment or complaint, yet Shen Yanlie knew she was enduring it.

"I was just passing by and came to check," Mai Xijun replied, her voice as calm and still as a stagnant pool.

His Xiao Mai, usually cold and vibrant—how could he not understand? He could see through her without her saying a word. Yet now, she was becoming a stranger, and he felt a sharp, piercing pain, as if a blade had struck his most vulnerable part.

"I see," Shen Yanlie responded softly, and then there was nothing more.

Indifference. In the end, he couldn't even bother to pretend. When had the notion that they would walk together forever turned into this? His explanation was so pale—a lazy excuse for having ignored her for days, never once checking in. She had been lying to herself, saying he was busy, so busy that he had forgotten the world, forgotten that there was someone waiting for him, and a small life waiting for him to whisper, "Be good and grow up quickly."

It was all just a fantasy. She would have preferred him to say nothing at all, or just to give her a hug; then she would have regained her courage and continued on. But there was nothing. Was he tired of her? Had he lost interest? If so, why not just be direct? She was a straightforward person, yet now she was suppressing herself, unable to express her true thoughts, slowly carving away at her own heart with a dull, invisible blade.

"Have you eaten since you left? I'll make something for you." Shen Yanlie stood up. Only as he finished speaking did he meet her gaze. Mai Xijun’s eyes were red, and the hurt in her expression made his heart ache.

He couldn't understand it anymore. He felt moved, pained, and heartbroken, yet he couldn't control the wild, growing emotions—like vines in the wind, they wrapped tightly around the love she felt for him deep in her heart.

Two hearts that had once loved were now like hedgehogs; in drawing near, they pricked and wounded one another.

Looking at him, she felt as if she had forgotten the world. The memories of their time together played before her like an edited film. Her eyes blurred with tears, and she could no longer find that feeling. In his weary gaze, how could she ignore the truth?